My first BIG realization

It’s been months since my last dose of fertility drugs and finally for the first time I can't remember the exact number of months.  Is it 5 months or maybe its 6 months?  I can not say with my whole heart that I am "over it" or that I don't think about having more children everyday but the last week I have come to a realization. 

I have been taking care of my friends two babies ages 1 1/2 and 3 months and of course my 3 year old and there is something to be said about an age gap between children.  I have been able to spend such quality time with Raigan we have played and learned together with no interruption.  Having my friends two kids has taught me just what I have been able to do with only one child.  I have been able to enjoy all stages of her short life, celebrate her mile stones and appreciate her ever growing personality. 

My daughter and I have been able to go on adventures that would be difficult if not even possible with multiple babies. Going places with one child is much easier not to mention faster. With three if I want to accomplish anything or do something it is a strategic well thought out plan.  Make sure I have the babies food, snacks for the older two and enough diapers for the 1 year old and baby to last the day.  With three car seats snugly fit in my car and only a one child stroller I am finally for the first time learning how to juggle.  Depending on where we are daring to go we pack the baby carrier, the single stroller or if I was to be daring and workout the arms muscles I would pack the wagon for two. 

To say the least this experience couldn't have come at a better time in my process to not "get over it" but to understand and think outside the perfect little box I imagined for myself.